Help! My teenager won’t talk to me!

January 28, 2015 parenting, stress, teenagers 0 Comments

Your teenager won’t talk to you. “I swear there is something wrong with her! Why is she so mean? How did this happen so fast? I miss my baby! Maybe she is on drugs! I knew that new kid in her class was trouble! Maybe she is depressed! Oh, no! She just bought black polish! I need to cancel her allowance. Instagram! Maybe her Instagram will tell me! Why is this soooooo hard?”

Try not to panic. How can you not? There is a teen living in your house, right ? Try to remember your teenage years. The obsessing in the mirror, the hour long showers, and the even longer phones calls! If you were the “perfect teen”, try to remember your teenage FRIENDS! Yikes! The talking back, the slamming doors, etc. Now, think of the new challenges teens face. The social media, the test scores, teen violence, and the peer pressure of checking out your home medicine cabinet to help your friends get high.

You read all this literature that advises you to keep the lines of communication open. You can’t help but want to scream, “Communicate? My teen won’t talk to me!” Don’t panic. The articles never said HOW to communicate. Maybe your teen wanted to talk to you but overheard you mention an important deadline. Maybe they think you have enough on your own plate (teens can care sometimes….probably more than you realize).

Try something new. Get creative. Write your teen a note. Don’t panic (seems to be a trend here). No one is suggesting you write your teen a book (although I would love if my Mom starts one for me, hint, hint). Just a brief note. They will read it. Leave it in a marked envelope on the counter. Slide it under their bedroom door. Toss it in the mail (it only costs $.40 to land in your own mailbox). The action of you taking the time to write your teen a note, may even be stronger than the words themselves.

Your teen may pretend not to care, they will even be good at pretending not to care. But, they will read it. They might even roll their eyes say, “You are so lame”. But, they will read it. The point is, they will read it. Your teen will remember it. They will know that you took the time to think about them. Your teen might not hesitate to call you late at night when they are in trouble because they remembered this note. #throwbackcommunication #retrowriting